Initially myself, my back then boyfriend and our baby son applied for a Calico home as we were a young family starting out, we rented until my then fiancé developed a hernia which prevented him from working, our then only source of income.
We were forced to move in with his parents due to affordability; this was very overcrowded as we were living in one room, affecting my mental stability.
My local Sure Start helped us with floating support, we applied with Calico and lived with my partner’s family for 6 months before securing our Calico home and my partner was fit enough to return to work after surgery.
We love the home we live in; we have lived in the one property since January 2012, it has had its issues, from damp to a garden that looked like a building site. But we slowly made it our own, despite some modernising still needed. We also put a lot of effort in ourselves and it’s much more than a house to our whole family.
A home that has seen so many ups and downs: We moved in as a family of 3, we got married, became a family of 4 in December 2015, welcoming our second boy. Our youngest got christened. I got a master’s degree, my husband sourced local work and climbed the ranks, benefitting the whole family. He passed his driving and wagon test, was a community volunteer football coach for Padiham, Wolves and Diamond Coaching.
Our children have grown up in that home, our boy was one when we moved in, he is now 13 and his brother is 8. We have seen the children grow from babies, toddlers going to nursery, children going to school to a young person transitioning to high school.
I was sexually assaulted five minutes away from home at 5pm after finishing university, walking to meet my husband and son. It created fear and anxiety which still impacts me today. My Grandad passed away in early 2019 and my grandma passed September 2022.
These were huge losses for me as my grandparents brought me up as their own. Until having my son, I lived with my grandparents for most of my life due to parental separation and my mum working.
On the 17 th September 2023, my husband suffered a huge brain aneurysm while out doing the family shop at the local supermarket with both children present. He was rushed to hospital, placed in ICU and passed away on the 18th – once the machines supporting him were removed.
My home and safety feel taken away without my husband. His funeral left from our home, this little house will always hold so many memories to cherish of a beloved daddy, husband and much more. I am now left as a single parent, something I have never done alone prior, trying to figure out a new way to live while dealing with all the trauma and grief for I, a teenager and a child which has made a huge impact on our whole family dynamic.
The support I’ve received from Calico:
Floating support, helping secure the tenancy in 2011/2012.
Millie, Tenancy Sustainment Officer – In my time of need, when my husband passed away, Millie supported me in sorting housing, utilities and finances. I had never been in this situation before. She provided a calm and caring approach and provided essential service
when it was most needed. Millie was professional and knowledgeable in how to assist in applying for crucial support.
Vicki Webb, Managing Director – Vicki supported and visited me personally when a complaint had been made but not resolved, this provided a personal touch. She is passionate about her role and the customer’s voice. Vicki was able to resolve the complaint, making the event less stressful.
I have accessed available support to help stresses and emotions, I find it beneficial to use my voice and if it helps even just one person then it is a success. It is also a requirement to take care of oneself. We can’t take care of others without taking care of ourselves in the first instance. Give time to process and adjust to challenges, take this how your body tells you and believe in yourself, that personally we can overcome what is faced, creating small goals.
I know everyone is unique, have their own coping strategies and unique ways to deal with things, but hearing my story I hope it could support others to open about their own life hardships and realise the benefits of support and that people are here to help you, show
empathy and listen. Every personal story, situation and experience is unique – but that doesn’t mean you’re in it alone. People have empathy and have common ground.