Hi my name is Paul. I’m 48 and battled with addiction for 34 years.
I grew up in Stoke Newington, Hackney on a council estate which I absolutely loved. I was smoking dope at 12yrs old, drinking heavily at age of 14, a coke head at age 16 and a heroin addict by the age of 17! I definitely had an identity problem as I had been a mod, skinhead, hippy and even a white rasta! Seriously though I had no clue who I was or what I was doing let alone where I belonged.
I worked on street markets as a child – drinking and using drugs was the norm in my environment, especially during my time down Ridley Road…. I loved that market. I managed to complete an apprenticeship to become a fully certified Stained Glass Craftsman.
I had my first experience of rehabilitation at the age of 22 but by no means was I prepared to give up drink or drugs completely! That was my first time – I had many more during my life in addiction but sadly I went from bad to worse. Prison, homelessness, family not wanting me around and a ruined relationship with my partner at that time, leaving her with my beautiful daughter on her own.
I couldn’t cope. I was angry, hurting, and couldn’t understand why I was unable to stop. At this point I really didn’t want to carry on – You see I had no hope…only me myself and I…and I hated myself.
I trusted no one, I hated the world and I wanted to die. This continued until the age of 45.
I had had clean time with 2 years here and there in 12 step recovery which I’m thankful for; I attended church, knew about Jesus but here I was as close to death as I’d ever been.
Very ill, I met the Teen Challenge City Outreach Team at a Believers in Recovery group in Bristol and they offered me real help. They drew alongside me and helped me into their residential programme… a safe place where I could heal and that aims to introduce people to Jesus and the freedom that is found in Him, with a programme designed to aid transformation.
Reluctantly I accepted but it was there that I encountered Jesus! I knew I needed saving. Desperate and broken I cried out to Him with all my heart, soul and being “God if You are real please help me! He did… He spoke to me, He touched my heart and He set me free in that moment. He became my saviour for real right then. He is now my Hope and much more.
I am very grateful to God that He sent the City Outreach Team to me, and to the many who give their time to Teen Challenge. I returned home in the middle of a pandemic, this was the perfect time needed for the amending, healing and restoration of my beautiful wife-to-be and myself and 2 children as I had broken them also.
Jules, the girls and I are still healing, trusting and growing together as a family. Now husband and wife, our hope is in Jesus. As reluctant as I can still be at times to trust Him, I put my life in His hands and He has not let me down… oh what confidence that gives me.
It’s been over 3 years and I am now self-employed as a stained glass Craftsman and Restorer making broken things new. I don’t need to attend drug programmes anymore but God still uses me in that area to share my story with people like myself to whom I can offer Hope. He has divine appointments set up for me. He has a plan for my life and a purpose. Please hear me when I say He has one for you too!
No longer a slave to fear.
Love and God bless you all
Paul